Im blessed as fuq

I am a spiritual genius like that mortal kombat character shangtusung

codeine crazy

future did a nice song this one title called codeine crazy.

everytime a nigga talk a check... real game requirements precede this comment.

speaking to the world is relaxing even if the world doesn't wana listen... i still say what i gotta say gnome saiyan slanging slang.

Im having a joyous time

I like to brag and be king of whereever i may be ams thats why im the best at what i do.

Going to chicago right now in hopes of killing time efficiently.

Im also out of gummy bears so thats a major setback.

People who look up to me are some sort of geniuses because it takes an artist to realize the true starving artists artistry.

Im feeling great though and the whole world is smiling in my view

The dangers of self medication

I am anxious. My name is Haris Malik, a perfectly healthy and working family spawned me. I did this to myself, the grave mistake of messing with drugs and deeply controversially messing up my neurotransmitters, just to avoid Zina. Zina is intercourse with a premarital situation. I have done this and I am on some level proud of myself. But on the current-view-point scale I am very badily handicapped. Badily, just because this wordpad even says it’s not a word, I need to write a wrong word in order to capitalize on what exactly I have done. Everyone may disagree and say you should do this or you should do that, but I did what I thought would be the most bad-ass, in a movie-action setting, and now it is done.
I can not go back on what I did, I absolutely wish it with my purest desires to survive this in a healthy non-crutching way. I mean non crutching in the sense that I don’t want to begin on more drugs of the similar type just to easily avoid going through these withdrawals. But rather I wish to go through them to have the trauma plate in order to never do such an act again. I want to remember back to today and say “oh no, I’m good, I do not want to delve into that ever again.” Someone come save me is what my heart says out loud through my abnormal actions these days.
This essay is just to help my stress levels, it is not to cover anything up so to speak, but rather let everyone who reads this know in an explaining way as to why not to self medicate. Self medication is deadly at worst and in my case crippling at the least. I can’t say more as I plan to live out the rest of this trauma situation and hopefully update this blog.

I now smoke cigarettes to flex that aha look at me, I'm in hella pain but still stunting. I don't know if it's wise to do all this flexing when I have no muscles to show or back it up with, but I am me. I must express myself in my own manner. That manner may be a haunted manor, but it is what I have to work with. This house was built by me and it shall be exited by me alone. I hope anyone that reads this diary realizes that I don't condone doing this to anyone. Not even my worst enemy.
Xanax is a shot acting benzodiazepine and it has been abused by me before, and it was six months of hell. But the monster I'm up against now beats even heroin in my view. At least heroin is over by the 7th day... Whereas I'm on day 26 and it's just now showing its scary guts of the inside of the glass-ass house. I don't want to curse but there is no other way of explaining this situation.

i'm back to the free blogging

i created a website, lasted two years, in it i wrote some heavy psychotic worshipper of Allah type of ordeals... didn't amount to much, as it's another language in another dimension to most of humans.

when i say most of humans, i literally mean almost every single human. if i were to find another like me, i'd go into depression and pain solitude until i break that person's ego in my mind. i say ego because ethernetgo is really what life is about now. real life communication is seldom honest nowadays, it's all a facade of falsehood just so they don't have to feel. i don't know, i rant often and i am only human. but i am a djinn of a psychotic worshipper and that is my pride.

worshipper ego - go warship online. it's better than LAN lol. real life protects honesty with the blanket of Islam. But on the internet we are all anonymous essentially as soon as we shut down the computer we stop existing to others, and that's what helps us to build strong honest connections and learn who we are through those encounters.

I am proud. I am weak. I am human.