I have a cold. I'm sitting outside in the cold with a cold and smoking my amazing reliable cancer stick.
Ahhhhh what a deep relief.
Make that two cigarettes back to back now. Hurrying never helped so ima take my time with this second one. Hopefully it doesn't cause more diarrhea cuz that's bogus and no fun.
I don't have much experience in life but I do have the knowledge to expand on nothing. There is a void outside but not in my head. For I have given my tender soul to nobody in life. Reminds me of that movie sword fish where people are playing golf and shooting in nowhere. It's such a nice vague thought!
Wish I had the ability to live in a place where everyone but me had to obey laws. Laws make it peaceful but only bore me.
I have two followers now. I love you both more than you can imagine. Support in a unknown direction is always majestic. At leash my blog isn't filled with everyday bullshit! It's filled with my own bullshit!
I hate reading others blogs cuz they never have anything filled with wonder or awe. Even Stephen king couldn't compare to my bullshit. Maybe I should write a book based on my bullshit. I wonder if any one would publish and read it.
Fuck my hands are freezing
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Saturday, December 29, 2012
This cold is kicking my ass
This common cold is kicking my ass. I wish I could ask it to stop somehow… but that probably is very unlikely. I mean it affects others as well… so I’m not the only target it has. It probably has a deeper purpose than to only bother Haris. I can only assume it will leave me alone soon because I want to have all my energy back and be able to walk around with my head held high instead of looking down for fear of nose dripping on my lips.
I’ve been having the body aches associated with sneezes and the super warm body-feel-like every time there is water or something cold in proximity. I mean I still managed to smoke one cigarette so far because I had the excuse that it would jam up my nose with all that carbon and it would stop leaking water-like snot. But I’m finding out that it just got me that bit of a dopamine rush and that’s all it really did. I actually had to wipe my nose a couple of times while I was smoking that cigarette. Although towards the end it got better as though the carbon clogging really worked. I sometimes fail to reason out what to do in the moment, so I just get stuck upon something.
My little niece just lied and told my dad that I was calling him downstairs just so she could eat a cookie. Smart or evil? Bit of both perhaps?
Either way, my throat still hurts and feels like there might be something sharp stuck inside or within it, for a lack of being able to explain feelings better in words. I’m still eating and drinking though, and taking care of myself. I think my body will recover just fine in the end, because I always do end up making it somehow. This is also the first cold I’ve had in about two years so I can’t really say I don’t deserve this (per se?), but I mean I really don’t deserve this! (:P ).
I’ve decided I’m going to vent out, and publish this rant on my blog… because even though it is boring as hell and about me as an individual and doesn’t apply to others, people can relate and give me a “oh wow same here dude” and probably divert my attention from the cold. Having said this, I shouldn’t get any comments! ;) The way I like it.
I’ve been having the body aches associated with sneezes and the super warm body-feel-like every time there is water or something cold in proximity. I mean I still managed to smoke one cigarette so far because I had the excuse that it would jam up my nose with all that carbon and it would stop leaking water-like snot. But I’m finding out that it just got me that bit of a dopamine rush and that’s all it really did. I actually had to wipe my nose a couple of times while I was smoking that cigarette. Although towards the end it got better as though the carbon clogging really worked. I sometimes fail to reason out what to do in the moment, so I just get stuck upon something.
My little niece just lied and told my dad that I was calling him downstairs just so she could eat a cookie. Smart or evil? Bit of both perhaps?
Either way, my throat still hurts and feels like there might be something sharp stuck inside or within it, for a lack of being able to explain feelings better in words. I’m still eating and drinking though, and taking care of myself. I think my body will recover just fine in the end, because I always do end up making it somehow. This is also the first cold I’ve had in about two years so I can’t really say I don’t deserve this (per se?), but I mean I really don’t deserve this! (:P ).
I’ve decided I’m going to vent out, and publish this rant on my blog… because even though it is boring as hell and about me as an individual and doesn’t apply to others, people can relate and give me a “oh wow same here dude” and probably divert my attention from the cold. Having said this, I shouldn’t get any comments! ;) The way I like it.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
hermitvirgin4life : episode 1 (bored; logically)
Hi. My name is Haris Malik. And I’m bored of the world.
I can’t commit suicide because logically I was born without my choice and therefore it shouldn’t be my choice to get to decide to end it either. Maybe this is also tied to the religious aspect of my thinking, but either ways… I just don’t think I could commit suicide. It doesn’t seem right when I gather myself completely.
There are things I’ve wanted to do such as travel around the world, go to Europe, see the fast pace of life and look at people in awe and just travel throughout their daily routines in my imaginative mind and then stay in awe. Awe is what I would consider opposite of being bored. So, traveling would therefore certainly rid me of my boredom.
Although the boredom is all in all my perspective of the world, I think the world has the burden to excite me! Because I didn’t get to choose to be born, and therefore the world, or this pre-existing system that I was born into has to show me what all there is possible that can excite me. If I’m too manic right now, and that’s the excuse for why I can’t find anything exciting… This only proves my point that I am able to see things for what they are. And therefore there is nothing exciting happening in this world.
Relationships fail because everyone is selfish. We can choose to care and accompany one another and enjoy the “high” times out of the support for our emotionally attached ideas and thoughts, but in the end we are only selfish. That’s the sad reality of this world I truly believe so. I mean, especially when people say “people consider me very selfless, and I think I am a good person / am selfless!” this only proves my point because anytime someone says something along the lines of “No, I am not!” this is their attempt at trying to prove themselves. And when you are trying to prove yourself, it is because you yourself have a doubt in you existing the way you believe to be, and need to gain the approval of the people/world around you. So, therefore anyone self-claiming they are selfless is really selfishness in a cute and hideously embedded way.
I’ve tried to love someone, but really it’s just ignorance in an honest way. I think logically anytime my mind allows me to. Logic thinking is something I believe in. Love would be something I could have faith in, but I couldn’t believe in It because logically it wouldn’t conclude.
Faith vs Belief: Belief in something is something that is testable over and over and conventionally believable as long as someone is willing to listen. As long as they are willing to listen, they MUST believe in it… without being able to hold the power to deny it. On that level, if conventionally it is strong enough for everyone to happily agree, it is something that is believable.
Faith, on the other hand, is something people can nod to in awe and inspiration, but can’t actually place the thought in their mind on a fathomable scale. Nobody can in their right mind choose to believe in faith. Instead, I think we are driven to believe in faith because of how bogus this world seems at times. Bogus in the sense that it doesn’t make sense to believe in only what we believe in at the time.
To be continued when I have something more real to add.
I can’t commit suicide because logically I was born without my choice and therefore it shouldn’t be my choice to get to decide to end it either. Maybe this is also tied to the religious aspect of my thinking, but either ways… I just don’t think I could commit suicide. It doesn’t seem right when I gather myself completely.
There are things I’ve wanted to do such as travel around the world, go to Europe, see the fast pace of life and look at people in awe and just travel throughout their daily routines in my imaginative mind and then stay in awe. Awe is what I would consider opposite of being bored. So, traveling would therefore certainly rid me of my boredom.
Although the boredom is all in all my perspective of the world, I think the world has the burden to excite me! Because I didn’t get to choose to be born, and therefore the world, or this pre-existing system that I was born into has to show me what all there is possible that can excite me. If I’m too manic right now, and that’s the excuse for why I can’t find anything exciting… This only proves my point that I am able to see things for what they are. And therefore there is nothing exciting happening in this world.
Relationships fail because everyone is selfish. We can choose to care and accompany one another and enjoy the “high” times out of the support for our emotionally attached ideas and thoughts, but in the end we are only selfish. That’s the sad reality of this world I truly believe so. I mean, especially when people say “people consider me very selfless, and I think I am a good person / am selfless!” this only proves my point because anytime someone says something along the lines of “No, I am not!” this is their attempt at trying to prove themselves. And when you are trying to prove yourself, it is because you yourself have a doubt in you existing the way you believe to be, and need to gain the approval of the people/world around you. So, therefore anyone self-claiming they are selfless is really selfishness in a cute and hideously embedded way.
I’ve tried to love someone, but really it’s just ignorance in an honest way. I think logically anytime my mind allows me to. Logic thinking is something I believe in. Love would be something I could have faith in, but I couldn’t believe in It because logically it wouldn’t conclude.
Faith vs Belief: Belief in something is something that is testable over and over and conventionally believable as long as someone is willing to listen. As long as they are willing to listen, they MUST believe in it… without being able to hold the power to deny it. On that level, if conventionally it is strong enough for everyone to happily agree, it is something that is believable.
Faith, on the other hand, is something people can nod to in awe and inspiration, but can’t actually place the thought in their mind on a fathomable scale. Nobody can in their right mind choose to believe in faith. Instead, I think we are driven to believe in faith because of how bogus this world seems at times. Bogus in the sense that it doesn’t make sense to believe in only what we believe in at the time.
To be continued when I have something more real to add.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Cigs for homies
I even smoke cigs for others now when they are in need and can't hurt themselves properly. Taking requests.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Today is the day
That I woke up after 13 hours of sleep and I don't remember my dreams.
Although my dreams usually involve some messed up fantasy unraveled over the time slept and the distances traveled during the past week or so, but the reality is a bit distorted none the less. The brutal cruel fantasies too unwelcoming for them to exist in this world become my reality in my dreams. But since I did not mention this to myself, it hints me that someone else is responsible for making my dreams come true.
I would never lie to my audience for I have emotions that relate to them. On a soul level. On a depth that I perceive, it is what I call my reality. If you can't do the same, you suck dick for oranges.
Although my dreams usually involve some messed up fantasy unraveled over the time slept and the distances traveled during the past week or so, but the reality is a bit distorted none the less. The brutal cruel fantasies too unwelcoming for them to exist in this world become my reality in my dreams. But since I did not mention this to myself, it hints me that someone else is responsible for making my dreams come true.
I would never lie to my audience for I have emotions that relate to them. On a soul level. On a depth that I perceive, it is what I call my reality. If you can't do the same, you suck dick for oranges.
The world about to end
I haven't done shit in this world yet and there are rumors it's about to end
To be honest this is my world and I don't think I want it to end just yet. There's a lot more I feel in my fate coming about and around the corner and such and stuffs. So therefore it doesn't make any sense for the world to end.
Don't call me a prophet or anything cuz obviously other niggas out there are saying the same things but I'm saying it too that the world isn't going to end.
Ima smoke a lotta cigs tonight and hope to reach an elevated state and gauge what I need to do in order to prepare for the world to not end. Hopefully it'll all work out in the end. Because the end isn't now, that means nothing needs to be working out ATM.
I've been getting so motivated listening to tupac and Bob Dylan there's no way this shit hole is about to end before I get to own the world under these new rules learnt. Feel me, niggas?
This is the best post so far.
To be honest this is my world and I don't think I want it to end just yet. There's a lot more I feel in my fate coming about and around the corner and such and stuffs. So therefore it doesn't make any sense for the world to end.
Don't call me a prophet or anything cuz obviously other niggas out there are saying the same things but I'm saying it too that the world isn't going to end.
Ima smoke a lotta cigs tonight and hope to reach an elevated state and gauge what I need to do in order to prepare for the world to not end. Hopefully it'll all work out in the end. Because the end isn't now, that means nothing needs to be working out ATM.
I've been getting so motivated listening to tupac and Bob Dylan there's no way this shit hole is about to end before I get to own the world under these new rules learnt. Feel me, niggas?
This is the best post so far.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
I'm tired of
Tired of having fun. Tired of not having fun.
Tired of the middle parts.
Tired of hitting on girls. Tired of getting their approval.
Tired of telling men what to do. Tired of wasting time with stupids.
Tired of trying to make money. Tired of being lazy.
Tired of trying to be active. Tired of drinking soda and eating chips and candies.
Tired of being boss. Tired of being sad and lonely. Tired of people's company.
Tired of trying to learn about life. Tired of people existing without a reason.
Tired of moms loving their children. Tired of fathers providing for their families.
Tired of eating bananas. Tired of eating people's egos. Tired of radiating energy.
Tired of this world's boundaries. Tired of laws. Tired of following laws.
Tired of moving around to overcome boredom. Tired of doing activities. Tired of starving. Tired of eating.
Tired of changing channels on the tv. Tired of judging shows. Tired of cheap directing. Tired of watching cheap directors making big bucks.
Tired of change. Tired of stalemates. Tired of women hitting on me. Tired of men begging for my approval. Tired of their lies of pretending to troll. Tired of writing the word tired.
Kind of tired to be honest.
Tired of the middle parts.
Tired of hitting on girls. Tired of getting their approval.
Tired of telling men what to do. Tired of wasting time with stupids.
Tired of trying to make money. Tired of being lazy.
Tired of trying to be active. Tired of drinking soda and eating chips and candies.
Tired of being boss. Tired of being sad and lonely. Tired of people's company.
Tired of trying to learn about life. Tired of people existing without a reason.
Tired of moms loving their children. Tired of fathers providing for their families.
Tired of eating bananas. Tired of eating people's egos. Tired of radiating energy.
Tired of this world's boundaries. Tired of laws. Tired of following laws.
Tired of moving around to overcome boredom. Tired of doing activities. Tired of starving. Tired of eating.
Tired of changing channels on the tv. Tired of judging shows. Tired of cheap directing. Tired of watching cheap directors making big bucks.
Tired of change. Tired of stalemates. Tired of women hitting on me. Tired of men begging for my approval. Tired of their lies of pretending to troll. Tired of writing the word tired.
Kind of tired to be honest.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Julian Casablancas
"I just nod, i've never been so good at shaking hands..."
WOW that's lyrical genius at being genuine.
"Forgive them, even if they are not sorry.. All the vultures"
ohh casalbancas you got that heart in you that'll melt some good grade females! Not to mention jelly the boys/men.
The beat's so cute and catchy... Like the disco type of demo i had on my little piano my mama got me when i was super young (so young i don't remember how old i was).
HOW ARE YOU SO LEGIT CASABLANCAS???? leme guess cuz it's cuz ur a married legit mother fucker who doesn't try to game in life to try to live dual lives... YOU LEGIT ASS MOTHER FUCKER. I love you.
Welcome onboard to haris's heart.
WOW that's lyrical genius at being genuine.
"Forgive them, even if they are not sorry.. All the vultures"
ohh casalbancas you got that heart in you that'll melt some good grade females! Not to mention jelly the boys/men.
The beat's so cute and catchy... Like the disco type of demo i had on my little piano my mama got me when i was super young (so young i don't remember how old i was).
HOW ARE YOU SO LEGIT CASABLANCAS???? leme guess cuz it's cuz ur a married legit mother fucker who doesn't try to game in life to try to live dual lives... YOU LEGIT ASS MOTHER FUCKER. I love you.
Welcome onboard to haris's heart.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
a virgin ballad
Hey niggas, yeah I said niggas cuz I'm
a sand nigga from some sand nigga motha
delivering you a real message from central
time zone inside my moms basement
I'm afraid to go out cuz of the stupids
crowdin the streets about whereever i go
your chick dig my genuine walk
your moms wants no rubber style
your pops wants to spend five minutes
talking about the things he never thought
you wana watch it all happen
cuz you too scared to ask me yourself
young fruits selling their soul for a piece
body, wet, slut, fetish, have it your way
nobody shuns you until you shun yourself
now go on groupie about how you did it
cuz it's all you got is this world to flex in
nigga it's a test i knew it when it begin
the stupids call me sad, depressed, lonely,
heavy in my mind, appearin not so gamely
if you ever could see the world from mine
you'd be crying every night to sleep
for pity of what could be theirs
yet it is a little too late, cheers.
a sand nigga from some sand nigga motha
delivering you a real message from central
time zone inside my moms basement
I'm afraid to go out cuz of the stupids
crowdin the streets about whereever i go
your chick dig my genuine walk
your moms wants no rubber style
your pops wants to spend five minutes
talking about the things he never thought
you wana watch it all happen
cuz you too scared to ask me yourself
young fruits selling their soul for a piece
body, wet, slut, fetish, have it your way
nobody shuns you until you shun yourself
now go on groupie about how you did it
cuz it's all you got is this world to flex in
nigga it's a test i knew it when it begin
the stupids call me sad, depressed, lonely,
heavy in my mind, appearin not so gamely
if you ever could see the world from mine
you'd be crying every night to sleep
for pity of what could be theirs
yet it is a little too late, cheers.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Cigarettes are awesome
Simply the best and easiest way to inflict self pain in order to level with the world and all the bullshit in it.
The non smokers say oh it's a billion dollar industry and all that and those white colored assholes are making big bucks off your ignorance and you are dying slowly... Well my niggas I been wanting to die ever since I became conscious. Ain't no denying it I want this shit over with. I foresee and reason out things to not do them but if anyone else can do it they agree with me.
Cigarettes are so amazing they're like gods gift for the wise and sane. Someone keeps telling me to meditate using the vapinassa medication techniques but they don't realize I'm not upset with the world or sad or mad... I'm simply bored.
Life is a bitch when you're sober because that's the realist reality there is to conceive. Girls want my soul, men want my trust, and my family wants me to honor their loyalty to me. But nobody can force me to be happy... Know why? Because nobody is actually happy. They chase themselves on their hamster wheels in order to get a bit of dopamine and endorphins rush and act tough and say oh I'm happy look at me. It draws attention because others say oh you're so happy how'd you do it. It's a lie and a fake coverup for the realist of the real point of view at this world.
No doubt some days I am so happy I feel I'm on top of the world, and those days every thing alive on this planet that can convey its emotions wants to spend time with me. But how long does it last before I'm down once again and I need their help in feeling alright?
We leech off each other because its all we got to go to. Religion is a theory of the best things to put faith into, and facts are what make atheist scientists comfortable with being alive. But look me in the eyes and tell me you know that there isn't a god and don't trip for five seconds over all the negativity and confidently tell me that there is no god and all you do is turn your head the other way or start questioning what I'm about to relate to me.
I'm not looking for a shady sketched out relative point of view because anything that's true as humans need water to survive is something every alive mother fucker agrees to. And that's a fact I believe in. It's not that I got a lot of faithin it... I just believe it because I can go my whole life and not be able to deny it. That's the difference between faith and belief.
Cigs for life.
The non smokers say oh it's a billion dollar industry and all that and those white colored assholes are making big bucks off your ignorance and you are dying slowly... Well my niggas I been wanting to die ever since I became conscious. Ain't no denying it I want this shit over with. I foresee and reason out things to not do them but if anyone else can do it they agree with me.
Cigarettes are so amazing they're like gods gift for the wise and sane. Someone keeps telling me to meditate using the vapinassa medication techniques but they don't realize I'm not upset with the world or sad or mad... I'm simply bored.
Life is a bitch when you're sober because that's the realist reality there is to conceive. Girls want my soul, men want my trust, and my family wants me to honor their loyalty to me. But nobody can force me to be happy... Know why? Because nobody is actually happy. They chase themselves on their hamster wheels in order to get a bit of dopamine and endorphins rush and act tough and say oh I'm happy look at me. It draws attention because others say oh you're so happy how'd you do it. It's a lie and a fake coverup for the realist of the real point of view at this world.
No doubt some days I am so happy I feel I'm on top of the world, and those days every thing alive on this planet that can convey its emotions wants to spend time with me. But how long does it last before I'm down once again and I need their help in feeling alright?
We leech off each other because its all we got to go to. Religion is a theory of the best things to put faith into, and facts are what make atheist scientists comfortable with being alive. But look me in the eyes and tell me you know that there isn't a god and don't trip for five seconds over all the negativity and confidently tell me that there is no god and all you do is turn your head the other way or start questioning what I'm about to relate to me.
I'm not looking for a shady sketched out relative point of view because anything that's true as humans need water to survive is something every alive mother fucker agrees to. And that's a fact I believe in. It's not that I got a lot of faithin it... I just believe it because I can go my whole life and not be able to deny it. That's the difference between faith and belief.
Cigs for life.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Tupac - breathin
Now I'm the last motha fucka breathin.
I wish it wasn't so boring up here but I guess everyone got their destinies to live with. Even fate dont fuck with me up here. All little low riders are see through from up here. I can see through em so well that I see myself starrin at the trees and mountains for so long I nearly go into shock from time to time. I smack myself and say "haris!" And then I go about living alone in this boring life once again.
Who got more shit figured out than me? I need help from you if you exist my nigga. And btw I don't believe in racism cuz that's one of the elementary ignorant ideas just like believing in evolution.
But seriously I mean it this time. If you have knowledge get at me. But till then don't call my ego ignorance. Cuz that shit is backed by something more valuable than gold. Time and information is the two most limited resources we got. Nobody made a legit time machine yet but I got the most hold on legit information about who and why people belong where they are.
I'm no know it all... I'm just as ignorant as everyone else from time to time cuz I got human tendencies but when it's on... Try and stare at me in my eyes and try to hide your soul from being read by me if you can please. Stephen king ain't got shit on me.
I wish it wasn't so boring up here but I guess everyone got their destinies to live with. Even fate dont fuck with me up here. All little low riders are see through from up here. I can see through em so well that I see myself starrin at the trees and mountains for so long I nearly go into shock from time to time. I smack myself and say "haris!" And then I go about living alone in this boring life once again.
Who got more shit figured out than me? I need help from you if you exist my nigga. And btw I don't believe in racism cuz that's one of the elementary ignorant ideas just like believing in evolution.
But seriously I mean it this time. If you have knowledge get at me. But till then don't call my ego ignorance. Cuz that shit is backed by something more valuable than gold. Time and information is the two most limited resources we got. Nobody made a legit time machine yet but I got the most hold on legit information about who and why people belong where they are.
I'm no know it all... I'm just as ignorant as everyone else from time to time cuz I got human tendencies but when it's on... Try and stare at me in my eyes and try to hide your soul from being read by me if you can please. Stephen king ain't got shit on me.
The good die young (tupac again)
Good sad song to cry over sad painful realities of the world; death and the emotional trauma that your soul gets set aflame about on.
The good die young... Can anyone tell me whyyyy (female voice) the good die young (PAC holding down the legit tone thing feel) . Sigh.
A deep satisfying sigh is all that is really owed to sad thoughts after hours and days of contemplating and crying.
The good die young... Can anyone tell me whyyyy (female voice) the good die young (PAC holding down the legit tone thing feel) . Sigh.
A deep satisfying sigh is all that is really owed to sad thoughts after hours and days of contemplating and crying.
Picture me rolling
I ain't got love for these niggas, ain't no need to be friends.
PAC said it but I lived it my whole life. Who's realler? Lol I can take shots at PAC ain't that a delusion
PAC said it but I lived it my whole life. Who's realler? Lol I can take shots at PAC ain't that a delusion
Junk fooding ATM
West side outlawwwwwees.. Lol it's just 2pacs of shakur in my ears making me say that.
But on the real tho I'm eating the shit out of this junk food and drinking coffee after I had a fat strong mug of chai this morning... Makes no sense (just almost farted from motility comin about). Hot damn this life be boring some times.
Someone save me from my boring self and teach me to let go of my religious bullshit worries and just live this life for what really was... A gift to enjoy everything experienceable (lol for now).
Now it's the song every block is kinda mean but on our block we still play song
But on the real tho I'm eating the shit out of this junk food and drinking coffee after I had a fat strong mug of chai this morning... Makes no sense (just almost farted from motility comin about). Hot damn this life be boring some times.
Someone save me from my boring self and teach me to let go of my religious bullshit worries and just live this life for what really was... A gift to enjoy everything experienceable (lol for now).
Now it's the song every block is kinda mean but on our block we still play song
Thursday, December 13, 2012
drake - she will
she will...
young money (?)
yea... fo...
ehm. I tell her "now go on n pop that pussy for a real nigga"
niggas is jealous but really i could care less
devil on my shoulder, lord is my witness
i'm weighin sins and forgiveness
i tried to pay attention but attention payin me
talk is still cheap
i rock to the beat of my drumset (his father/uncle's drummer reference ?)
She just pop it for a sec and look back at me and sayd 'baby its reallll'
and i say "i ain't doubt u for a sec" i squeeze it in and i could tell her how it feel
but here baby you know the deal.
she ain't gonna get it but maybe she will...
man this song sounds so fucking fun to visualize and go through. but again, i'm stuck a fucking muslim! WHAT THE HELL M8's
young money (?)
yea... fo...
ehm. I tell her "now go on n pop that pussy for a real nigga"
niggas is jealous but really i could care less
devil on my shoulder, lord is my witness
i'm weighin sins and forgiveness
i tried to pay attention but attention payin me
talk is still cheap
i rock to the beat of my drumset (his father/uncle's drummer reference ?)
She just pop it for a sec and look back at me and sayd 'baby its reallll'
and i say "i ain't doubt u for a sec" i squeeze it in and i could tell her how it feel
but here baby you know the deal.
she ain't gonna get it but maybe she will...
man this song sounds so fucking fun to visualize and go through. but again, i'm stuck a fucking muslim! WHAT THE HELL M8's
I'm an atheist wannabe
Seriously. This isn't a joke.
I have been brain washed into believing Islam is the right religion. I can't claim it's not because then I would be lying.. Hence the brain washing.
You know there are two types of people in this world in my view; those that believe in God, and those that don't care to believe in God.
If God is so merciful, why doesn't he show us visible proof of his existence, the atheists welcome me with their logic... But then the snippet of the brain washed enigma inside my mind speaks and says "Haris... You believe a God so great cares about any of this mumbo jumbo? Look at this loser here... He's going to go to Heaven you think? No! He's going to hell! Just stop listening to his bullcrap altogether. Go pray to replenish your faith gauge if you must. Just stop this idiocy now. Turn your head to his retard-logic if you must!"
Meanwhile a side of me dies. And I mean DIES. I forever lose a friend, and I also think that "oh... those happy possibilities... weren't meant for me. How sad this is." And I cry for a couple of seconds and even make weird taking-an-agitated-poo faces but nothing helps... I am stuck in my silly old brainwashed mindset.
If there is any atheists out there that can help to motivate me enough to start having sex with random hot women... PLEASE I BEG OF YOU! Man that stuff is way too silly too pass up on I feel.. And I keep falling victim to being silly like this... What the heck man!
P.S.
This blog topic is the beginning of many writings to come under this topic.
I have been brain washed into believing Islam is the right religion. I can't claim it's not because then I would be lying.. Hence the brain washing.
You know there are two types of people in this world in my view; those that believe in God, and those that don't care to believe in God.
If God is so merciful, why doesn't he show us visible proof of his existence, the atheists welcome me with their logic... But then the snippet of the brain washed enigma inside my mind speaks and says "Haris... You believe a God so great cares about any of this mumbo jumbo? Look at this loser here... He's going to go to Heaven you think? No! He's going to hell! Just stop listening to his bullcrap altogether. Go pray to replenish your faith gauge if you must. Just stop this idiocy now. Turn your head to his retard-logic if you must!"
Meanwhile a side of me dies. And I mean DIES. I forever lose a friend, and I also think that "oh... those happy possibilities... weren't meant for me. How sad this is." And I cry for a couple of seconds and even make weird taking-an-agitated-poo faces but nothing helps... I am stuck in my silly old brainwashed mindset.
If there is any atheists out there that can help to motivate me enough to start having sex with random hot women... PLEASE I BEG OF YOU! Man that stuff is way too silly too pass up on I feel.. And I keep falling victim to being silly like this... What the heck man!
P.S.
This blog topic is the beginning of many writings to come under this topic.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
life from my pov as a guy
I said "you experience the high high's, and then basically choose to go through the extreme low's"
and i said "i experience the low high's, and then choose to go through the not-so-extreme low's"
you telling me which way of life is more right? I choose to plan ahead. Even if it means my seed will end... It's not like it takes a lifetime to impregnate someone if I really want... and getting girls' phone number, attention, or company has never really been even a want of mine and i've gotten so many offers. imagine if i wanted it... bro there is not a thing i want in this world.
It is filled with pain. There is no happiness. There is nothing to chase. There is nothing worth chasing. This is as real as it gets. understand what the world around you points to. And you too will begin to have faith in the unknown just like me. And that unknown is life after death. If This part tripped you up so much that you can neglect all my reasoning... You're just stuck addicted to your ways that you can't reason out of them or even fathom outside of them.
Be a trend setter. Don't be a part of the herd. That's what I ask, but people can only carry the convo for 5 secs before them and I are both bored.
"This life I lead" mother fucker. Call me a psycho.
and i said "i experience the low high's, and then choose to go through the not-so-extreme low's"
you telling me which way of life is more right? I choose to plan ahead. Even if it means my seed will end... It's not like it takes a lifetime to impregnate someone if I really want... and getting girls' phone number, attention, or company has never really been even a want of mine and i've gotten so many offers. imagine if i wanted it... bro there is not a thing i want in this world.
It is filled with pain. There is no happiness. There is nothing to chase. There is nothing worth chasing. This is as real as it gets. understand what the world around you points to. And you too will begin to have faith in the unknown just like me. And that unknown is life after death. If This part tripped you up so much that you can neglect all my reasoning... You're just stuck addicted to your ways that you can't reason out of them or even fathom outside of them.
Be a trend setter. Don't be a part of the herd. That's what I ask, but people can only carry the convo for 5 secs before them and I are both bored.
"This life I lead" mother fucker. Call me a psycho.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Logic of religion: we have to believe in the unknown because we didn't choose to exist or be born therefore there is an existing system we must believe in. I don't know if its one understandable with the time given in this life but there is an undeniable unknown system that every human must believe in because no human got the choice to choose to be born or not to be born. And so this system exists whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
noo nexopia
Why are you down? I mean i'm not gonna start rapping btw with that "are u stil down? raise em upp are u still down raise em up" pac shit...
but still, why did you have to be down right as i get back from watching Life of Pi, which made me feel like it was a history review for me and added new information to my soul...
crazy movie tho. 10/10 best movie watched ever. hands down.
but still, why did you have to be down right as i get back from watching Life of Pi, which made me feel like it was a history review for me and added new information to my soul...
crazy movie tho. 10/10 best movie watched ever. hands down.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
I'm dead
Last I heard I'm a dead man I got a ex co worker mad at me and it saddens me. I hope he forgives me for being an ignorant impatient douche :(
Saturday, November 24, 2012
I love girls
But they can't love what I portray for I am scared what if we end up doing something that isn't allowed in my moralistic religion? Good excuse eh? Hehehehehhe
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Best Poster
Posting in forums is not about who or what you are. It's about what you know. I am always the best poster around because of my empathetic abilities.
I pride myself in this.
I pride myself in this.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I'm alive
Thank God I'm alive, Bloggosphere. I'm talking to you the blogging community... Reach out and strive until you fall so hard that you realize there is no falling, only ups and downs... Nobody ever falls to the pit they can't be helped from.
That bottom does not exist.
If I can come back up this hard, then SO CAN YEW.
That bottom does not exist.
If I can come back up this hard, then SO CAN YEW.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Tupacalypse now
I've been listening to a lot of tupac now and all I can really say is... He is probably alive and well.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Another bright day
The sun is maybe hiding but I know it's up there, this rose isn't wilted at all, so the sun rays have been getting to it I believe. There are many clouds covering the blue sky, oh I've seen it before, and it seems a bit gloomy but exciting never the less.
I hope I grow into a tree today when I daydream instead of a frog with dark red eyes. Ooh that sounds scary. Maybe I'll think of the frog more now..
I've been avoiding food for a lot of hours now, so I'm going to explore what options I have before I enjoy this morning of this day today.
I hope I grow into a tree today when I daydream instead of a frog with dark red eyes. Ooh that sounds scary. Maybe I'll think of the frog more now..
I've been avoiding food for a lot of hours now, so I'm going to explore what options I have before I enjoy this morning of this day today.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Mr. Obama is giving speech
President Obama is saying that people need to get their powers back on now that the storm as happened. And this sucks because people can't get to work and school. This is slowing our economy. Again, water and air... Why did you do this?
You know the students and peoples were learning and earning lots and many much things, why would you dare to slow this down? What was the intent behind this?
If you read my blog, water, or air, please don't hesitate to comment on my blog. It has this nice place you can write things and explain to me and stuff. And then I will understand and feel better once that will have been done.
Please do this ASAP! I am concerned. I am confused. I am baffled and basically I feel like I am not in control. This is not a joke.
You know the students and peoples were learning and earning lots and many much things, why would you dare to slow this down? What was the intent behind this?
If you read my blog, water, or air, please don't hesitate to comment on my blog. It has this nice place you can write things and explain to me and stuff. And then I will understand and feel better once that will have been done.
Please do this ASAP! I am concerned. I am confused. I am baffled and basically I feel like I am not in control. This is not a joke.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sandy
The Super Storm Sandy off CNBC channel seems a bit rude to the people living there... They were just kicking it in their houses and stuff and living their lives and this water and wind decided to just attack at their presence and cause all this chaos and weird watery shaky things to happen.
Why wind?
Why water?
Why are you being this way? What's wrong? Moon got you all messed up, water? You taking it out on the wind? Or is the wind the one that started it this time? Did clouds get in the way at all?
Sandy, if you were not birthed, thirty six people would have still been alive as of now, and a lot of buildings would not be wet and slippery. Humans walk there you know Sandy... Don't be like this plzkthx.
Why wind?
Why water?
Why are you being this way? What's wrong? Moon got you all messed up, water? You taking it out on the wind? Or is the wind the one that started it this time? Did clouds get in the way at all?
Sandy, if you were not birthed, thirty six people would have still been alive as of now, and a lot of buildings would not be wet and slippery. Humans walk there you know Sandy... Don't be like this plzkthx.
No, stop it!
Stop it!
Don't you see all these people sitting around wondering what you're trying to say to me? They think I don't have control over you. You are getting their attention now... What is going on? How can you do this to me? You're a part of me! Please don't be like this...
Just stop growling. I'll feed you later! Ok well now you hurt too... I guess that'll get you more attention huh? Just stop it... I feel lazy and I am not a bout to move. Please just stop it as soon as possible, I understand the secretions might be upsetting you.
Ok thanks.
Don't you see all these people sitting around wondering what you're trying to say to me? They think I don't have control over you. You are getting their attention now... What is going on? How can you do this to me? You're a part of me! Please don't be like this...
Just stop growling. I'll feed you later! Ok well now you hurt too... I guess that'll get you more attention huh? Just stop it... I feel lazy and I am not a bout to move. Please just stop it as soon as possible, I understand the secretions might be upsetting you.
Ok thanks.
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