I might give my heart a chance again

Its been a good while, id say over two decades that i evem thought of my heart as an entity thats capable of having a will or a desire or the ability to have a response towards something i claim or propose. I got shunned once when i relied on my whim and screwed up; and ever since i have been scared of using anything other than my brain/mind. 

As a result i realized yesterday that i have been unable to come up with any sort of concrete motivation or a sense of direction that i dont end up doubting 15 seconds later. And this is all very stressfull because it's essentially steeper and steeper in terms of difficulty when working on anything or trying to be productive. Its exponentially harder to continue working at the same pace... which is rather making me feel completely useless because i cannot realize my potential if i cant even work at a steady pace. And for anything to get done, one must strive at at least the minimum of a consistent given pace, if not increasing and decreasing. But i do such short sprints that are so rugged that my memory has no room to help advance in terms of absolute progress in any field or nature of work. Physical work is only useful as an exercise, God did not make me big bulky and strong as to work in physical labor. I am meticulous and must quench my achievement requirements within the constraints of intellectual quarrels.