I'm scared of fame. I'm scared of what it brings. Responsibilities to keep people happy. Fuck responsibilities. Fuck not using curse words. Fuck life. Fuck God. Fuck god. fuck GOD. It's not between you or me or me and they but rather god and me and god himself. Not sure what this last sentence means. Sometimes I stutter while articulating and I find it even more articulative. Twice forward three backwards in sets of 5's. Nonsense. My brain does that. I'm not made to do anything but blog a fuck ton. My thoughts need to be written down. I feel too dead inside to not compose. I need to compose until I find a meaningful composition. I have a good head on my shoulders. I was just too young to realize what I was learning. It is learned by my body VERY WELL. VERY WELL. VERY WELL. WELL, VERY WELL. I wish I could unlearn it just like in a year or two as people grieve over break ups. Or maybe smart people do go through long break ups like 5-10 years. I hope I'll be fixed in 5-10 years. Shit, at least now I know my damage. It should be a downhill walk from here. I need to write. I need to write.