Watching a recommended youtube video and chatting/listening to music here n there

Youtube video: Why men like younger women is the video i'm meant to watch
I hope they sum it up fast
I hope it doesn't pest me too much
Oh god

I was meant to grow up and discover my personality
But instead I ended up doing something I know is wrong, with style
Now it's my permanent personality.
To do mock and negative jokes as the only way to truly represent myself
and laugh at those jokes deeply and socially




I think there is a huge power telling me that I will make money in the future but
For now... I need to just focus on staying alive and live through the trauma
Live through the trauma turning into actual real life emotions.
It will take time to process it
Ugh so much time
But life is long
So long
I hope me and my demon make it to be friends