Three six mafia destruction terror

“Look in the eyes of this mother fucking wise guy”

I agree. My eyes alone show I’ve done it all. They take any stab in the ballpark they can at me. Usually with the same ones over and over just different guys. I need to learn to hone in on who I am. I feel I’m holding my phone like it’s a purse, so feminine. But the truth is the truth. Hurt if it may. Maybe I have developed what it’s like to be a woman. And therefore am such a complete man that it feels incompetent on my part to try and find a mate. “Damn it’s on.” Damn it really do be on.

We entered a signal free zone and it sorta reminds me of a calming thought or idea or feeling. Not sure which it was when it happened. The up and down in air pressure feels nice. It’s a change you don’t experience every day. Another tunnel! Haha it went by fast. 

I wonder if dating is really worth sacrificing peace of mind and security in order to enjoy life a bit more. I wonder how annoyed I can get before I say fuck it and walk off mid date or something. I should definitely at least try it. But I really don’t want to have sex again really. When I’m horny then yeah I’m almost tempted to go for it, but with a sane mind no I don’t condone it for myself. I might condone it on others as a joke but in seriousness I don’t do it. I’ve had way too much mindless sex. I don’t think I could be turned on to do that anymore. Sorry Haris, you’ve already exploited that ‘innocent to lots of sex’ card. But my adult physical body wasn’t present in those images, and so I’m really shy about my physical presence. I have to act like such a gangster to feel adequate, but to be honest I get by after a bit of trauma when listening to family. I either freeze indecisive or I listen and follow through right away since I had no better idea lined up. I need to learn to take my time. Or else this life thing being sucky is going to be brought up over and over. Perhaps if I could learn to take my time I would try to take my time with girls and then simping (not talking about their butts or boobs) I will get laid eventually or most likely after a thorough conversation or two I’m sure it’ll happen. But.. but... can I stay focused for that long? I don’t even have a job to talk about. But really I just need to not be so judgy and give people time. Maybe I’ll get that in return and won’t be so miserable then. Hmm.